Dear friends and loved ones,


It's amazing how little time there is in a day, even if you have nothing to do but meditate. The information in this letter is a little old, but I just didn’t have time to write it down before. I still don’t, and this letter has been in the making for over a week now.

On Sunday 12 November, the yajna (ceremony with fire offerings) at Sadhana Mandir came to an end with a big happening, lots and lots of visitors, very nice speeches and a lovely meal - served on / in marvelous plates and bowls shaped out of banana leaves. In the evening there was a concert of sacred chants (kirtan & bhajan by Vaiyasaki Das). The two weeks prior to this, we had walked over to Sadhana Mandir every morning, trying to be there at 9 to join in the puja, the worship being offered to God(s) and Guru, followed by the havana (fire offerings, see explanations below), till approximately 11:30. I also tried to go over in the afternoon, when from 15:00 to 17:30 there was again havana and puja and arti, another kind of worship with chants and light, but that was not an activity for the whole ashram and I did not manage to go quite as often as I would have liked.

Our morning puja started in a former guest room which had been turned into a little temple with four altars. The first one (from right to left) was dedicated to all Gods, and a separate object to symbolize Ganesha (the god with the elephant face) who, as ‘Lord of the hosts’ represents them all. The second one was dedicated to Narayana. It had a particularly beautiful mandala made of four kinds of dal (lentils or beans) in contrasting colors: the rich and soothing green of mung beans, the bright orange dal we find back home, pitch black urad dal, and the creamy white of split mung beans. The third altar was dedicated to the Guru. It had a large picture of Swami Rama on it, but as was explained, anyone can worship it or pay respects because it represents the universal Guru force (said to be same as the Holy Ghost in Christianity, though I am not sure this is a one on one equation), not the person of Swami Rama. In my perception this holds true for the Hindu Gods also: to me their images represent “The Divine”, so when I pay respect it is to God Supreme rather than to the different aspects of God that the Hindu divinities represent and that - being of another cultural background - I do not know very well.

The worship consisted of the chanting of sacred texts by 6 pundits, who were joined by anyone who knew the texts or could read the handouts (in devanagri script), and the offering of fruit, flowers, light and holy water onto each one of the altars by a long time disciple of Swami Rama. We would then move to Meditation Hall for more puja, after which eight young men (pundits in training?) would continue chanting for almost an hour. Then we would go to the havana, the fire offerings. A big square pit had been adorned with flowers and other decorations (offerings) for the occasion, and grains and fragrant herbs were offered. A big tent had been built up around it, nicely decorated and the floor was comfortably covered. There we would sit for about an hour and a half, while the six pundits and the disciple of Swami Rama would perform the fire ceremonies.

The pundits chanted a mantra that we use in our daily prayers:

Akhanda-mandalamkaram vyaptam yena characharam

Tat-padam darshitam yena tasmai sri-gurave namaha

It translates as follows: Salutations to that beautiful and benevolent Guru through whom was revealed (to me) that state (of consciousness) which pervades the entire unbroken form of the circle (of creation), moving and unmoving.

Now in the practice of mantra, as you go into deeper layers of consciousness, the frequency is higher and the repetition of mantra will go faster. I knew this to happen in mental recitation but never considered it is the same for vocal repetition. The pundits would chant this mantra faster than I could LISTEN! It was really amazing. When they started, the first two or three repetitions I could still hear the words, but after that they sped up and, even knowing the words well, I could not hear them any more. I tried writing them down and reading along (because I am used to singing the text at a certain pace), but it made no difference. At times, when my concentration was deep, I would be able to follow the words for a short while…

Sitting so much, I had all the time in the world to concentrate on my sitting posture, and on relaxing my forehead. This is a major practice Swami Veda always gives. Tensions and negative emotions are reflected in tension of the muscles on the forehead, and conversely, if you fully relax your forehead you can’t think depressed, angry or worrisome thoughts. Simple, yet it is amazingly difficult to even be aware there is tension in your forehead. I used to think mine was relaxed until a kalyani mitra, a friend on the path, started pointing out to me each time I frowned without realizing. I think during the havana I was slowly getting better, because the grains of rice that were pasted on our foreheads at the morning puja (at the level of ajna chakra, the ‘third eye’, together and on top of the red dot called a tilak) would at first fall off within ten or twenty minutes, but after some time they would stay all morning (except when in a moment of unawareness I’d scratch my forehead).

Also my sitting dramatically improved. I have set myself the goal of being able to sit for one hour without moving the legs by the end of my stay. ‘Sitting’ in this context of course means sitting on the floor in a cross legged position. When I arrived a month ago, I could not sit longer than ten minutes (my practice had really been low of late) but in two weeks time I was up to almost half an hour. Except the very first time when Swami Veda had arrived in the ashram and there was a satsang (‘sitting with the teacher’, generally with the opportunity to ask questions). I was somehow pushed to the front. I would have preferred not to be quite on the front row for different reasons; one of them being that there you should really sit very still and sit very straight. But I thought I’d manage, perhaps changing the position of the legs two or three times in all (after half an hour, and then every 15 to 20 minutes).

Well, I held for two minutes. At the physical level, I was desperately uncomfortable. This was severely aggravated by sitting, not only on the first row but in the middle of the first row, so right in front of Swami Veda! It sure helped to take my ego down a notch or two. Fortunately I was not so distracted so as not to notice it was a VERY nice satsang. Joanne asked a beautiful question (which does not come out well in my words) on when and where the path starts, and the gist of Swami Veda’s answer (which also does not do him justice) was that it starts here and now with your very next step, and then step by step slowly up the mountain. What if you are already on the top of the mountain, someone asked? Then you go down, he said, and help the others.

I had announced a description of my daily schedule. This letter is going to be a bit long again, but I would like to give you an idea on what my day is like. A lot blends in with gurukulam activities (gurukulam = a school for spiritual development where you live under a guru; the ashram has a gurukulam on the premises and the activities of the two blend together). I am quite content with how well I stick to my program, even though it is far from 100%, because:

(i) for the time being I allow for my tiredness and often go back to sleep for an hour after the morning meditation and prayers;

(ii) there are often other activities that I take part in, like the fire ceremonies we did for two weeks, or classes that I want to attend. On rare occasions I have also gone to market to get some essentials;

(iii) I am doing some personal things like writing these letters and trying to finish the Teacher Training Program (which I could and perhaps should have done years ago, but I gave priority to consolidating the yoga center in (West-Africa) rather than to doing my TTP homework) and

(iv) last but certainly not least I am doing some work for Swami Veda (contributing to an inventory of and then organizing the gurukulam lectures of the past three years; helping with some publications).

I am hardly doing any hatha up till now, but I manage do a fair bit of meditation (always the 05.00-06.00 meditation and then some others in between other activities) and walking (so I do get physical exercise even if I don’t do much hatha) and I do regular yoga nidra practices (yogic sleep, but I sometimes fall asleep during those which means it is really not yoga nidra at all…). The theoretical schedule is as follows:

5:00 meditation (general gurukulam / ashram activity)
6:00 prayers (general gurukulam / ashram activity)
6:15 hatha, nadi shodhanam (general gurukulam / ashram activity) (Even if I do not stay for the class, I try to do some sun salutations plus agnisara and / or uddhyana banddha).(nadi shodhanam is also called ‘alternate nostril breathing’. It is a purifying and balancing breathing technique, which I do for 15 to 20 minutes each time (3 rounds of three, making the 108 breaths, for those ‘in the know’. Agnisara and uddyana banddha are exercises of the abdominal and pelvic region. They are – among other things - very energizing and I don’t do enough of them ).

8:00 breakfast (general gurukulam / ashram activity)

9:00 clean cottage / do laundry (mmm. I already started making use of the dhobi – the laundry man – much more than I did in the first two weeks)

10.00 - 12.30 sit, brisk & or contemplative walking, hatha, nadi shodhanam (in practice: work, walk, meditate, nadi shodhanam)

13:00 lunch (general gurukulam / ashram activity)

14:00 walk or rest or self study (general gurukulam / ashram activity)

15:00 sit at shiva linga (there is a lovely little temple at the ashram compound with a beautiful clear crystal Shiva linga, an oval shaped form which among many other things represents hiranya garbha, the golden womb or the golden egg or cosmic from which the universe sprang forth and into which it will eventually dissolve again). I sit more often at my cottage, though, where I prepared a very nice little corner for this purpose. Usually a little later then 15:00…

16:00 tea (general gurukulam / ashram activity I usually skip because I do not drink black tea and have little time to make my own)

16:30 yoga nidra kind of practice (Again, I start a bit later, but I usually do something).

18:00 nadi shodhanam (general gurukulam / ashram activity, I do not respect the time but do the practice)

19:00 dinner (general gurukulam / ashram activity)

20:00 lecture or video (general gurukulam / ashram activity, if nothing is happening I read or work or write)

21:00 prayers (general gurukulam / ashram activity)

21:15 self study (general gurukulam / ashram activity)

22:00 lights our (general gurukulam / ashram activity; most days I first do 5 minutes of sarvangasana (shoulder stand) and a counterpose, and it is often 23:00 before I turn off the lights)

It has begun getting cold, so I am gradually putting on more layers of clothes. I have bought a juicer and am experimenting with fruit and vegetable juices, but it is currently too cold: I really want warm meals, particularly breakfast. Also, I do not think I will be taking any more dips in the Gangauntil it gets warmer again. Since my last letter there has been a second dip: the Brahmachari appreciated my lazy, slow motion stile of swimming and asked for swimming lessons… On the next holiday (there are no ‘week-ends’ at the ashram, classes and activities continue seven days a week but on average, one day a week is a ‘holiday’, usually related to the phases of the moon) I tried to show them how you can stay afloat with just your breathing, even if you do not move. Obviously, I am helped by a more than fair amount of body weight, which they are not. Fat floats and bones don’t, so it was not as easy for them…

I am not on a forty day silence. Swami Veda hesitated to let me start because he said there was so much work to do. And indeed, there is. It took me a few hours to make the mental shift, but now I am very happy to make myself useful.

Should not wait so long with the next letter, because then there is just too much to say. Haven’t finished yet, but will let you have some peace now.

So, love and peace to you all,

Sonia

P.s. I have not said anything on the wonderful three day seminar on yoga and (health related) science organized by the HIHT, the Himalayan Institute Hospital Trust. Perhaps in the next letter. Those who are interested can find more info on the HIHT website (www.hihtindia.org). The program is on the site, the proceedings are not (yet) but I hope they will be at a later stage. For now I will say that the seminar ended on the fourth day with a concert by Anoop Jalota, whom I had not heard of before but apparently he is famous. Absolutely marvelous. Do look for his CD’s if you like Indian music. I certainly will!